Have you recently started dating a firefighter? Then, it’s probably their courage, compassion, fitness, and positive attitude that attracted you.
Dating them makes you feel safe, loved, and respected. But it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. For example, there’s a fairly high divorce rate among firefighters because their partners can’t handle the emotional baggage and stressors.
To avoid such incidents, you must be supportive of their career. For that, you must first understand a few things about the life of a firefighter. For instance, your partner might not make you their priority, and you might have to put up with their mental health problems.
In this blog, we’ll discuss three things that you should know while dating a firefighter.
#1. They Can Be Exposed to Toxic Chemicals
All firefighters get exposed to various toxins while on the job or during training. These include carcinogenic elements like formaldehyde, arsenic, asbestos, benzene, diesel engine exhaust, etc.
But what’s the most common type of carcinogen that they are exposed to? Well, that would be forever chemicals like per-and-polyfluorinated substances (PFAS). Let’s talk about this in detail.
PFAS Exposure: A Firefighter’s Nightmare
One type of fire extinguisher called aqueous film-forming foam (AFFF), had high levels of PFAS in its composition. Unfortunately, the manufacturers knew about this but didn’t warn the firefighters about the chemical exposure.
Almost all fire stations, airports, and military bases in America have used AFFF to deal with fuel fires due to its effectiveness. Little did they know that this exposure could eventually lead them to develop different types of cancer, low immunity, issues with pregnancy, high blood pressure, etc.
According to TorHoerman Law, the affected firefighters came together and filed a lawsuit against manufacturers like 3M, Chemours, DuPont, etc. These lawsuits aim to hold the responsible parties liable for the emotional damages and seek compensation for medical bills.
The recent AFFF lawsuit update by the legal industry states that these companies have agreed to settle some water contamination claims for over USD 1 billion. However, the health-related lawsuits are still pending. It’s estimated that these litigations will be settled for individual compensations between USD 40,000 and USD 300,000.
All these prove that you have to be vigilant. If your partner has recently been exposed to PFAS or any other chemical, you should ensure that they get immediate treatment. Also, ask your partner to change their protective gear or get it decontaminated before using it again.
#2. You’ll Have to Put Up With Mental Health Problems
To have a successful relationship with a firefighter, you need to be patient and aware of mental health issues. Sometimes, you can become a metaphorical punching bag for their frustrations from their high-risk and traumatic events. However, you need to understand that they won’t have control over their feelings if they’ve just seen their comrade die.
Approximately 57% of fire service personnel face some form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Other than that, your partner can also have extreme stress, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.
Most of them are really good at hiding their mental health problems and not getting treatment because of stigma. That’s why many firefighters experience relationship issues because of their careers. Suppressed emotions and untreated mental health can sometimes lead them to develop substance abuse problems.
As a partner, you can encourage them to seek therapy for their behavioral health. To do that, you must show support, empathy, and empowerment.
During treatment, they’ll be treated with a combination of holistic, psychotherapeutic, and pharmaceutical methods. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) can help.
You can also reach out to their colleagues to help raise awareness. Thankfully, the government provides mental health resources for suicide prevention and to manage PTSD. Try to encourage your partner to take advantage of these resources.
#3. You Won’t Be Their 1st Priority
No matter how much your partner cares, they’ll always choose their job over you. Let’s say you’ve gone out of your way to organize a romantic date during the weekend. However, they received an emergency call from their station. If that happens, your partner would prioritize their duty over the date.
Therefore, you’ll need to find the courage to be okay with such incidents. They’re out there working for the community by fighting wildfires, saving people from burning buildings, etc. As the partner of such a heroic professional, you must be empathetic and calm.
You can also ask your partner to organize their priorities to ensure a work-life balance. One way to do that is by identifying the goals and breaking them down into manageable tasks. Doing this will help them separate the urgent, important, and non-important things.
In summary, you’re going to give your best to make this relationship work. That’s why you want to understand what it’s like to date a firefighter. After reading this blog, you can now come to terms with their job requirements.
For instance, you understand why your partner cannot make you their priority. Moreover, you can help them with any mental health challenges they face. Knowing all these will allow you to make an informed decision about your future.
